The past few months have been quite a rollercoaster ride battling with depressive thoughts about an uncertain future. Fear crept in every now and then and it seemed like a downward spiral.
But I'm grateful and blessed that God has pulled me back once again. His presence is heaven to me.
5 things to find joy from:
1. My family, to get fat with and love me no matter what.
2. I found a CG in a new church! Finally! I believe God has put me in the right place in the right time with the right people.
3. My friends, although I really miss my cheena bestie, few weeks in shanghai already and goodbye was hard SOBS especially after being clingy for months and weeks. Thank God for her. Kimmy if you're reading this, I hope you're settling well (which I think you are!!) and although I miss you I know this internship's gonna be great for you and it's just a few months before we meet again! And don't always your EC when you're back hor, leave some space in your heart for me tanks.
4. Started school. I dread so much and feel like I wanna dig a hole and snug my head through whenever I hear "introductions". Inwardly I'm cringing whenever I say "SIM-UOL economics and politics". Somehow I'm not as 'fortunate' as many of my friends who always seem to get their Plan A, but I just have faith that Plan B=better. I may not understand why now but I'm thankful because I know I am taken AS-I-AM.
5. Tuition assignments. It's challenging to give tuition for EOY and Olevels and coping with school work at the same time but so fulfilling.1 MORE MONTH. My students must do well then my credibility will sky rocket HAHA, by the grace of God they shall do well!
Miss you clingy bestie.
WE ALWAYS EATING HEALTHY TO EAT DIRTY.
(PAST VS PRESENT). 1st batch of legit (mass improvement) cupcakes & I nailed sea salt caramel I'm so touched :( I wanna thank all my friends who supported me when my cupcakes looked dreadful but they constantly praised them and said I should open my bakery next time... Now I know why y'all are my friends HAHAHA, cos' yall comfort me and accept me, and my bakes, and made me live in denial. HAHA.
Gonna spend some quality time with my favourites tomorrow. YAY <3.
p.s Ladybug, can we play beach touch together I miss talking to you. How I wish I didn't get angry at you. Why was I angry with you? But you said "I never blamed you" aww. Hope you're doing well in NUS 橄榄球. See you if I ever see you again. ANW itching for a year end gateaway with the fam hehehe...
At first, we decided on a Lime Meringue Cheesecake. But, one day before, Alex realised that Lucas likes tiramisu so I decided on a lime bavarois/ mousse layer (instead of lime curd) with lady fingers (those biscuits thing in tiramisu). Baking with the Thai Tai was so fun HAHA she's the first I've seen who enjoys licking butter!?
'Lime Meringue (Tiramisu) Cheesecake' LOL.
I was so damn scared that the layers would'nt stay and the flavours were'nt coherent. BUT it turned out well THANK GOD. This sweet girl sent me this text 2 days later cos' she was busy with preparations (after I was anxious.. I thought she PS tell me it sucked!).
Cos' I told her I wanna stop pursuing what I suck at.
I guess my job experience made me realise that I'll only bake as a hobby. Maybe, I'm going back to what I'm good at since childhood, culinary. And it's less mind and capital draining seriously.. I've been whipping up suppers for my bro and throwing in different spices which (surprisingly) he says its nice HAHA. Effortless concoction heh.
Quality Time with GSEWS♥
I really treasure moments with my family.
Those heart-to-heart conversations as well as mindless ramblings, long strolls and of course, food.
Roosevelt Cafe & Bar
Food & Socialikes Connect Conference.
The conference was held on Sat from 10am to 5pm, with various talks and panel discussions. I highly doubted my ability to stay attentive (and even awake) throughout. But thankfully and fortunately, the topics and issues raised were interesting, thought provoking and I genuinely gained insights and inspiration from the various award-winning food bloggers (Dr Leslie Tay, DanielFoodDiary, Co-founder of Burpple, Co-founder of HungryGoWhere, 'MissTamChiak', 'rubbisheatrubbishgrow') , chefs (Wilin Low- boss of Wild Rocket and bosses of SAVEUR) and photographer (Alex Ortega). And, I was sitting directly in front of them (eye contact kind haha).
"I brought my own mirror along to reflect light on the meat"... "But a plain paper or napkin will work fine".
My attempt.
The SAVEUR owner (the checkered shirt one) damn cute, I was literally fantasizing while listening to him speak...
'Rights and Plagiarism of Social Media & Food.'
This one abit like lecture style.
But the important lessons I took away from Dr Leslie's ('ieatishootipost') talk were: 1. Finding another passion possibly more beneficial to the community and society (beginning: 'IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU'- a.k.a using social media to feed your narcissistic behaviour). Then, when you have shaped the society in a positive manner, it all boils down to yourself and what you have ultimately contributed and achieved. (conclusion: 'IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU). 2. Turning on the 'airplane mode' sometimes and enjoy life's simplest pleasures. <<THIS IS ME HAHA, most of the time I just (mentally)switch to 'airplane mode' and don't reply any messages until my friends get mad.. but I feel it's a good ritual leh.
Bento lunch set sponsored at the event.
And when I thought I knew how hard core food photography could get, I was totally wrong. When the host announced that the bento lunch 'friendly' photography contest was on, I witnessed many stacking chairs, etc, and one of them even brought his own plate and cutleries. Another level already LOL.
Sunday Lunch with Mom and Joy Jie.
Discovered a Salad Bar in Biopolis. It's a hidden gem! The meats were grilled to near perfection and the olive rice was so addictive (it had generous chunks of black olives within). Most importantly, the unique and kickass homemade dressings (like 'Me so Spicy'), y'all should go check it out!
The Lawn Grill & Salad Bar @ 31 Biopolis Way #01-07
Aceto Balsamico Beef Cuts w Olive Rice
Butter-seared Pacific Dory Salad w 'Perky Sesame Ginger' dressing
Recently, I've been cutting down on sugar and carbs slowly cos' I read about the detrimental effects of it (especially SUGAR omg). I love going Kino's 'Health' section nowadays heh and I realised that somehow I need to: 1. change my relationship with food ( treating it more like 'fuel' on normal days?) and most importantly, 2. learn self-awareness (knowing when I'm really hungry or rather, thirsty. Taking a step back and asking myself: What will I gain from that extra slice of _______?)
I read that SUGAR feeds on your bones and real nutrition in your body to get metabolised and staying hungry is much much better than feeding your sugar craving. Plus if you eat alot of sugar stuff, the salty food craving's gonna strike, and it's always an endless cycle. It's really not worth it to binge on those sweet devils!!
"I WANNA BE A FOODIE THAT NO ONE CAN TELL BY APPEARANCE THAT I'M ONE".
WAITING FOR MY HAIR TO DRY SO I DECIDED TO .. pen down some happy thoughts.
I'm eternally grateful for my selfless mother.
☆ Happy 娘 Day ☆ (my bro was the calefare)
I ❤ YOU MY MOM.
So this week the parents were off for a holiday together and my mom sent my bro a selfie of her and my dad. FIRST TIME!?! Advance level for her pls. But I was pretty upset that she didn't send me too. K I PMS. Proud of myself for completing a whole checklist of housework while the parents were away. When I was doing them, I was like "Wtf did I do during my hols seriously!? now then make myself useful." Finally met up with besties KIMZY & REENS for dinner at 'Satay By The Bay'. Tried 'WHOLLY CRAB' (opened by Felicia Chin) but actually we ate prawns instead HAHA. The presentation of the creamy cheese prawns wasn't that photogenic and filling so we needed a dose of our favourite hawker food.
#SGPRIDE but the portion & price macham for tourists sia.
THIS TWO ALWAYS ♡
And our mainstream photos ☝
Also, met up with 'LINBEI' (sounds damn vulgar) for a good brunch and accompanied her for some impromptu spectacle shopping at queensway! YAY to crucycle next week!! HOPEFULLY.
luvyoulinbei.
Worked for some event with the best friend which was so SIAN and brainless. But the company I had was it's saving grace.
My fat cheeks though ☹
My oldest Jie, Joy, scared me yesterday evening. Actually I scared myself.
I saw this and I panicked.
You gonna make me negative broke(< I don't even know how that's possible)
I'm aware that I bust my burst my data almost monthly (HOW DO YOU EVEN SURVIVE ON 2GB?!!?!) but I was shocked at the figures.
Jie: OMG Meimei how do you even get $179.95 and it's overdue HELLO, even my IPAD cellular thing not so ex. You go Sydney use right?!
Me: How I know sia. I didn't even switch my data on in Sydney PLS. I got burst data until so jialat meh.
And this incident left me thinking about it all night and till today when I asked my mom.
Me: Mom did you help me pay for my bill? ☹
Mom: What are you talking about? Your bill is under my name it's always paid by my GIRO!
Me: *thinks about how stupid I was so worried and panicky over that* WALAU THIS JIE. (since her IPAD with cellular was a birthday gift by us but put under my name)
So, earlier this evening, the family had a scrumptious dinner at Old Airport Road and upon stepping into the house, my bro initiated a sports session. Like hello I haven't digested my food?? But I agreed eventually cos I didn't want my dinner fats to settle deep down into my enormous lower body.
A volleyball session. And then a super competitive badminton session with random professional Indian badminton players. It was super fun (and funny) though. An epitome of racial harmony right there.
And while drying my hair, I browsed through Insta and found this vid on Xiaxue's page. GODFREY GAO!! My ideal facial hair for my Man. (in future la)
The moustache and beard GAO GAO HAHAHAHAH. Well-maintained too pls.
Then I dug out my drawing of my ideal Man back in secondary school days!! I totally have no flair for drawing and I realised that my ☟ideal Man has no neck and arms that are not proportionate. And it's like older guys. Time to re-sketch?
A good 6 days of lovin' life and spending money like water HAHA. It's payback time now *sobs* My 'Kor' joked that I gotta cook him soba every night till a 'nong nong' time. I know you're magnanimous right haha but I just feel so uneasy owing anyone.
Nonetheless, it was lovely being in a land of 15 degree celsius, AUTUMN, my favourite kind of cold heh, unlike hot and humid Singapore. Plus me getting my mind off things.
The best parts were the breathtaking scenery, ancient building structures and faking Aussie greeting accents like "How are ya?" "G'day" and "See ya later".
Was damn confused cos'
1. They don't expect a reply when they say "hey how are you" but you may sound rude if you don't reply.. So do I just smile and end it with a "fine/good?" Awks...
Eh but I tried "Hey, I'm good, thanks, how are ya" to an air steward on my flight back and he looked pretty impressed! Just that I 'zao xia-ed' on the "how are ya".
2. Why would I "see you later"???
But Australians are so friendly. Totally unlike nonchalant and indifferent S__________.
The worst parts were getting lost, especially on one of the nights, on huge highways with zero batteries on our phones and relying on physical maps (I became so good at it) and seeking directions from random pubs. And getting tailed by a burly guy in the back alley that I immediately darted across to get to the main roads. Haunting.
By God's grace, I got some brief directions and stayed calm. (was so afraid that my anxiety attack would act up.) Helped my 'Kor' to navigate along with road signs that I roughly remembered from the past few days and the physical map that I held in my hands. It was no child's play.
Eventually, we got ourselves parked at a less dubious carpark than the night before. Freaking A$100 for overnight parking in a lousy carpark on that previous night. "Parking in Australia's more profitable than car rental service"- true that.
While exiting the carpark, I was so touched by a gesture of my brother.
"Are you ok? Don't stressed ok"
I snubbed his comment with jest, "No la, haha."
"Come, give me a hug"
I was shocked out of my wits. But I gladly reciprocated his gesture, but with "OMG Kor, you're so weird!!! Not used to it."
Little did I expect that after living with him under one roof for the past 19 years would he display such a sweet gesture. After years of giving each other a cold shoulder and him giving me shit cos' we aren't blood siblings, I'm really glad that God restored this kinship and he recognises me as his sister. I'm just moved beyond words. The greatest thing above all is just LOVE. (and forgiveness)
So, here's a summary. I went on this trip with my aunt ("guma"/ "gums"-heh that's what I call her) and my 'Kor'. I missed my three annoying siblings and my parents so much. I can't stay away from home too long. I'll get sick. And btw I got real sick of cafe food cos I had it 6 days in a row (+6 streak). In the meantime not a fan of it already.
Me: Mom I miss you.
Mom: Miss ur mischievousness. love u, mum.
Me: TSK. I'm so sick of cafe food.
Mom: Ofc. Will 'dabao' your fish or fishball soup for you when you are back.
Here it goes.
There will always be that rainbow after the rain.
Vintage cafe- Smoked Salmon pizza (crust was really good)
Sydney Opera House
❤
Ferryyyy. Kor: I checked, the ferry's only coming like only after 30 mins. All the dumb people just sit here and wait. Me: K then we try take the bus. *Waited at the bus stop for ages, with direct rays shone onto our faces.* Kor: OMG THE FERRY'S LEAVING!!! Me: OMG KOR NOW WE'RE THE DUMB ONES!?! *Ran to catch the ferry before it departed*
Interior. (the stage can spin 360)
Wide & shallow steps for performers/ guests with long gowns.
Glossy & Matte shells
I was totally enlightened by the facts and history of this stunning architecture smacked right in the centre of Sydney. It was so fun listening to how major theatrical productions actually take place on this iconic stage and how a single man's foresight and determination made it possible. FOR THE RECORD I DID LEARN SOMETHING I AM NOT A BIMBO WHO TRAVELS FOR THE SAKE OF TAKING STEP PICTURES. Here are so interesting facts I remembered:
1. The designs for this dedicated opera house were submitted by numerous architects around the world back in the 1950s and they ranged from really boring squarish ones to rounded ones but Jorn Utzon's , a Danish architect, masterpiece stood out from the rest although his was initially rejected due to non-compliance to technical rules.
2. Glossy and matte shells were used in amalgamation cos' glossy ones create the shiny effect while the purpose of using matte was to divert the solar rays.
3. Jorn Utzon met with several obstacles because of his 'too picture perfect' drawing that made it almost impossible to make it to life. Because of this, he took donkey years to revise his plans and work with his engineer and construction team, which then incurred a huge debt. The new government was not willing to support his ambitious ideas then.
4. He resigned due to the immense pressure and objection and a new team was employed by the government to join the scrap pieces and work on the interior. He never returned to witness his masterpiece.
5. The mammoth debt was subsequently settled easily within a couple of years. To my surprise, it was via BETTING ON THE OPERA HOUSE OPERATED BY NSW LOTTERIES. Big gamblers huh.
Opera Bar
BIRD
Pan-seared Barramundi
Chill feels.
Cockle Bay Wharf.
To make up for the 2 degrees increase in temp heh.
HARBOUR BRIDGE!!
Your beauty's etched in my mind.
Museum of Contemporary Art.
The Rocks Market.
WILDLIFE SYDNEY
KANGOOOOOOO
What harm can you bring to me when we're separated by glass.
Get your ass movin'
MYTH BUSTER: Koalas care bout' nothing but SLEEP, EAT & REPEAT.
Shine bright like a diamond.
BILLS Cafe @ Darlinghurst.
Banana ricotta pancakes.
Best scrambled eggs!
Roadtrip to Blue Mountains wheeeee
Windows down. High speed. Breathtaking scenery. Singing and groovin' to Marvin Gaye!!
1 hr drive just to witness your existence.
Three Sisters Rock. (+headlands & bays)
How I wish life could be this simple and beautiful. Swimming in the ponds with my sheep and cows.
OK so the journey to Jenolan Caves was approximately 2 hours and while reading directions to my Kor I was literally dozing off cos' all I could say was "STRAIGHT". And he tapped me hard to wake me up after he sensed that I was going all silent.
Kor: Eh faith wake up. Talk to me leh.
Me: Straight.
You were worth the arduous journey I guess.
When I spoke, there's smoke. That's how cold it was in it.
Stalactites, Stalagmites and limestone pillars.
Fossil imprints on the sedimentary rock.
Icicle-shaped calcium carbonate deposits.
After studying and drawing limestone features for 2 years, I finally saw it come to life it's so amazing!!
Sunset was like at 6pm.
Found this homely Thai place at some awkward and dark back alley. And it had a heater yay.
Gigantic prawns iloveyou.
"We must eat fish here cos' it's Sydney Fish Market" K can.
Can you sense the freshness!?!
Seafood Platter SO FRESH!! Highlight of my trip man.
Then to Sydney Olympic Stadium.
Cuties darting their soccer balls all over.
How I wish I ended my sporting journey this high.
Aquatic Centre.
I woke up 3am (1am SG time) for this. GSEWS prolly just went to sleep.
6am @Hawkesbury
KINDLE THOSE FLAMES.
Beauty without edits.
Ascending.
See la I woke up so early that I didn't get to comb my hair properly. K YA'LL MUST BE THINKING I DON'T EVEN COMB MY HAIR USUALLY.
Humans and buildings become so insignificant.
Cloud 9 HEHEHE.
Let me be a lil' step in the sky.
How I wish I could 飞 forever.
It's all done manually.
I DID IT!
BONDI BEACH.
Why got no one.
Cos' it's gonna rain la.
BEST RIBS HANDS DOWN @ Hurricane's grill by bondi beach.
Watsons Bae. BAY.
She scared me out of my wits.
Gud eyedeer.
Guess how hungry they were.
Was craving for an authentic dim sum breakfast!
Liu Sha was damn good.
"Outside, they ostracise Asians. Inside, Asians ostracise them."
First sentence that came out of the waitress's mouth was "how many people?" in Cantonese. Felt so at home for once.
On a side note, it was pretty amusing spotting how everyone had teapots on their tables except a table with Coke and Sprite bottles, and them experiencing immense difficulty using those chopsticks.
The portions are so much bigger (the prawns were spilling out of the 'cheong fun') which made it a little dreadful toward the end.
Cafe hopping @Surry Hills. K it failed we only made it to two. Cos' we were just so sick of it already.
\
The highly raved about Bourke Bakery. 'Ye hai hao' only la.
Spiced Carrot Cake & Ginger Creme Brulee Tart.
The carrot cake left me reminiscing though.
St Mary's Cathedral. Like a castle!!
?
Sydney Tower Eye.
View from 260 metres.
Caught Les Miserables @Capitol Theatre. So deserving of a standing ovation!!!
Really thankful for this trip. But the stuff in Sydney is expensive.. Maybe cos' we were crazy paying AUD$100 for overnight parking and busting endless tolls on our self-drive, and hiring a hot air ballon for close to $1000. But it's always an experience, and it was indeed a good one with my aunt and brother. Although I wish it was a whole family affair. So that I can be crazy with my crazy siblings, HEH but I'll be constantly shunning away from my dad's death stare.
Sydney's food is like x2 of SG portions (also x2 the price), which made me feel so bloated and sometimes suffocating after meals. Plus it's so dry and my throat's still screaming for help. Cafe food everyday was no joke, would totally trade it anytime for some rustic soupy Asian food.
And Mom asked us to get Blackmore's Primrose from Aussie cos she said it was cheaper cos it's made there, but it wasn't much cheaper anyway, and we dragged 12 bottles back in our luggage. However, I really appreciate that my mommy thinks of us in every single occasion, cos' those cod liver oil and primrose fed to us every night and the Cetaphil cream bottles my sisters and I apply everyday are her lifetime investments to aid our dry skin problems. Today, I can say I've got pretty good skin. To me, she's the epitome of selflessness, cos' the ultimate vain one 20 years ago gave up almost everything to provide the best for us. I really love you so much my mom. (That I'll send an "I love you mom." message on random days. She told me that she would say this to her colleagues, "Aiyo, my daughter sure gonna ask me for something tonight." Where got!?! WL. Mother's day to me is everyday please.)
Got some souvenirs for my loved ones. I've learnt to buy thoughtful ones otherwise it's just a plain waste of money and effort. I'm really excited to hand it to them but for one group of them, all I feel is apprehension and awkwardness. If you guys ever read this, I remembered that y'all like salted caramel and mint, and the lady boss's a fan of ginger with chocolate. I'm not sure when I'll ever return to hand it to you guys although we're just a few kilometres away. Will we turn into strangers? Idk. But I'm really glad that business's prospering, maybe you guys don't even need me anymore.
ANYWAY, I'M HAPPY. Although I'm broke HAHAHA, but my happiness is defined by my beloved Jesus, my family and close friends. And chilling at a quaint cafe alone, sipping on my iced mocha to avoid the blazing heat and pending down my thoughts. Is there such a job?
A few months left to unwind, then reality starts. This is life.
In the meantime, let's groove to my new found favourite song~
