It adds up.

down + ill = crash? 

Confusion. Humiliation. Helplessness. Frustration. Insecurities. 

And at times I feel others doubt my ability even when I don't and start to have faith in myself? Like you actually do judge and to me, or have been doing it subconsciously. You keep harping on my results and make me dwell on, and the thought of you judging my future performances based on that bugs me a great deal.

I can't express exactly how I feel at times, and maybe it's just about 'me' and I'll deal with it gradually.

Cos' there's too many pressing world issues, making me realise how insignificant these petty grievances of mine are. 

Guess, I'll get over it. Hopefully without confrontation, because I suck at it. 

I pray for an end to my anxiety attacks cos' it's just gonna cost me yet again, and my bubble to burst. I'm more than what people think I am. 

Only God knows what Faith can do.

"With enough practice and willpower, you can train yourself to be in control of your brain and excel at whatever you do." 

On a side note, If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it -Lucy Larcom
I love the feeling of touching lives. It's a privilege I have. 

XOXO, Fei.